Kitchen Quibbler T-Shirts

'Where's the cheese?'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

Onion operation.

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

"If Labor Day is supposed to be a day off for workers to spend time with their families...I think Tia Carmen needs a day off from Labor Day."

'Treat yourself to a game of pot black.'

Cuckoo blender

"I think it's the spoon you want, I'm a confirmed spatula."

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'

"Your husband's pot roast is heavenly. It takes an eternity to chew it."

Ants take cheese and grater

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

'I never criticize your cooking, Elaine... I criticize your serving!'

'Hurry down here before your breakfast gets hot!'

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

Cull anyone who says "at the end of the day" or "To cut a long story short" more than once in a conversation.

"Social media is becoming more and more complicated. How am I supposed to slip a political hate comment in a discussion about baking recipes??"

"Egg Beater"

In the supermarket

Over eating...don't do it.

'Once and for all I want to know what I'm paying for. When the electric company tells me whether light is a wave or a particle, I'll write my check.'

No, pal, I don't know if the chicken is free-range.

F&E Kitchen Supplies. Our inventory of cookwear is low just when people want to buy it for Thanksgiving! Uh-oh, caught with our pans down!