Queue Quibbler T-Shirts

"Pardon me...shouldn't I be ahead of you? My private plane plunged into the icy waters off the coast of Maine over a week ago!"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

The First Commuters

'I got one this small.'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"Who's next?"

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

'Where's the cheese?'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

An accident waiting to happen.

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

"Been waiting long?"

Cull anyone who says "at the end of the day" or "To cut a long story short" more than once in a conversation.

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

'Call yourself a real consultant? You've only kept me waiting six weeks!'

'Once and for all I want to know what I'm paying for. When the electric company tells me whether light is a wave or a particle, I'll write my check.'

'And press nine if you are loosing the will to live!'

"It says here 'No man is an island'. What about the Isle of Man?"

Supermarket traffic lights.

Our menu has changed. To hear this message again, press 1. To hang up, press 2.

A long wait

"Go. The sign has a bigger impact when someone's just sitting there."

'You've heard, they're going to close this. . . lack of business.'

'Uh - oh... it seems the cashout queue was really long today...'

"Wish me luck, I'm off to the shops to join the socially distanced queues..."

Matter vs. Anti-Matter