Kitchen Banter Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I never criticize your cooking, Elaine... I criticize your serving!'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'I was in the catering corps.'

Cook and her Maids

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Amy Sedaris

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Avocado Timeline

The secret lives of household things.

'He's all eyes!'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Decaying corpse

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

Thank you for the wedding present.

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

Tin Opening