Kitchen Ninja Gifts

Karate Expert Chopping Bread.

'My Dad's got a black belt for cooking!'

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

Come dine with me!

Jack of all trades

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Tool Box

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Benihana style of cooking.

Party time.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Husband bakes a pie

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I'd like to toast our guests."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Hot pot

Onion Tears

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

"Gigot de sept heures."

"More helium."