Kitchen Klutz Lover Gifts

''For what we are about to receive' is burnt.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Baker Romance

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"It'll never be ready in time."

"On. More. Try."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'