Kitchen Klutz Crew Gifts

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

"On. More. Try."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"It'll never be ready in time."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

Accident-Prone Support Group.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'