Kitchen Klutz Lover Pillows

''For what we are about to receive' is burnt.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Baker Romance

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"On. More. Try."

"It'll never be ready in time."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

Accident-Prone Support Group.

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'