Lovable Klutz Pillows

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Life on Earth - dog bandage.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"I warned you not to use parts from the microwave oven, to mend the electric blanket...."

"On. More. Try."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

The Coordination Committee meets. . .

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

Accident-Prone Support Group.

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

'Why can't I make my pastry light?'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

'That's all right, dear -- I'll just pick something up on the way to work.'

These scramble eggs are a tad crunchy. Did you leave the shells on again, Darling?