Kitchen Klutz Pillows

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'Even the dog wouldn't eat my homework.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Secret Family Recipe for Disaster.

'And I've teamed that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager.'

"When you say "Someone doesn't know how to put a paper towel over a bowl of chili to re-heat in the nuker", I know you mean me."

'Oops! Almost spilt some in the food.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Not steak again. I haven't outworn last weeks yet!"

'Your breakfast in bed is on the kitchen ceiling, Mum.'

'Your horoscope says you're going to have a nasty accident today.'

'Sorry, folks, but the Peach Flambé has been removed from the menu!'

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

". . . A slight change in the menu, folks. . . tonight's special will be blackened chicken!"

'Seeing as Dad's cooking tonight, I think it's a good idea to keep the stomach pump handy.'

"For God's sake, how long's that been there?"

'A misprint in my wife's cookbook - What did YOU die of?'

'We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'The gravy turned out a bit thick.'

"I couldn't get any smoked haddock, so I got fish fingers and stuck some fags in them."

'I'm finally done washing the dishes.'

'I tried to find out if I could toast bread with the sun bed and fell asleep...!'

'Why can't I make my pastry light?'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

'So why do you need a ladder to eat a pancake'

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

'Er, how long did you say you had been teaching Home Economics, Miss Jones?'

'Will open jars for food.'

These scramble eggs are a tad crunchy. Did you leave the shells on again, Darling?

"Yeah...cut my thumb...never could carve a turkey!"

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."