Kitchen Fun Gifts

"Please don't tell me they're making broth."

"Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?"

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

Cookie Surveillance

Rustic. . .The word you use when the recipe goes wrong.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"That's it. We’re toast."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Man's cooking explodes.

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

Chef copy robot

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Avocado Timeline

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

Child doing the washing up

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

Post Game Day Betting.

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'