Kitchen Escapologist T-Shirts

Me Multitasking

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Dad was widely regarded as being unsuitable for younger viewers.

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

I made you a cake!

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

The Inexperienced Cook

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

Time for pancakes!

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

But I followed the recipe exactly.

Summer Holiday activities the whole family will love.

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

Egg Surprise

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."