Foodie Escapologist T-Shirts

"We won't need a check. We're going to sneak out through the restroom window."

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

6 Brothers Falafel

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"You owe me five bucks."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Before/After

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Man's cooking explodes.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

"They know me here."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Tzatzikicicle

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Pizza Tower Bridge

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"We succumbed to your hype."