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A Respite Between Courses

"Jakey's not a huge fan of spicier dishes, but we do want him to know what's out there."

On Thursday, I ingested 6,200 calories. On Friday, I spent $1,800 at the mall. Binge and splurge.

'How do I know they sell genetically modified food here?'

'Thank you for not throwing up'

'I don't believe this. It's the bill from the restaurant, they're charging me for the salmonella!'

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"You owe me five bucks."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Before/After

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

I wish I'd had the review.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Man's cooking explodes.

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Tzatzikicicle

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."