Kitchen Commander Gifts

'Never mind about inner peace and happiness, there's a sink full of washing up waiting in the kitchen.'

Egg faces firing squad of chefs.

"I'm just a girl, standing behind a guy, watching him load the dishwasher incorrectly."

Too many chefs and not enough indians.

"I'm sorry you can't speak with her, the poor soul never gets out of the kitchen."

Now just because mother has moved in, I don't want you two fighting over who runs the kitchen!

'Listen dear, 30 million and not a cent more!'

'Darling, whip me something up in the kitchen.'

"But you can't leave me! Who's going to do the dishes?"

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"I'm gonna throw this in her direction...just to give her a little scare!"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Okay, I get the message."

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"They don't have a dish named chicken-a-la-queen, do they?"

"Out of my way, Marge. It's Science Time!"

"Even though we're appliances, we still have feelings. So, if you want us to do what you ask, then we suggest saying please."

'In spite of all our communication gadgets, the fridge is still the undisputed information center of our household.'

No fly zone

"There may be a slight delay on the beef fillet."

'Scramble two!'

'My husband discusses only gut issues. All he says is, 'When do we eat?''

'You better get out your cook book. There's a food critic out there.'

"My wife prefers the kitchen to herself while she's cooking..."

"They're not actually a waste of space. One's the cooker and the other is the dishwasher."

'You look a little tired, Frank!'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Maid explains that there is no bread so man asks for toast instead.

"I say it's broccoli, and I say, "Fuck It"."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Philippe, dice the potatoes."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Lady of the Cake.