Kissing Advice Collector Pillows

Hairy Eddie's big time guide to kissin load a chicks.

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

Two minds but with a single thought.

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

'Was that your signature kiss?'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'I don't want you to run off, like all my other dates, when I mention the possibility of marriage. Will you please tie your shoe laces together?'

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"I'm sorry, but I made a big mistake by running off with you. I'm really in love with the fork."

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

Hints for the Park.

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

"Do we kiss these people?"

"I didn't want you worrying about anything at home, so I brought you the bills."

"I'm dating a milliner..."