Kiss Connoisseur Pillows

"No thanks-I'd sooner snog the steeple!"

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Love me little, love me long.'

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

"I suffered a stroke."

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

Who's a cutey?

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

"They swabbed and tested every kissed ass in the firm, and Orlitzky's DNA was a perfect match."

Two minds but with a single thought.

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"Why don't you stop by and stray for awhile."

Wildlife Refuge

Confession Ratings.

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"Forgive me, Father ... I forgot to take my Beano."

"One coffee and 12 creams."

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'