Kiss Collector Pillows

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

I only have eyes for you

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

Baby face

"Too much club."

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

Two minds but with a single thought.

Tree of Love

'I bought one and got one free! Best of all, they're both pregnant.'

'Special offer today -TWO for one, sir!'

"Say Cheshire Cheese."

Dancing in Love

"How many is too many?"

"Look, Gwen!...Beak warmers!"

'Take us to your chief emoticon.'

The language of the heart

"We met through a contact tracing app."

Valentine's Day

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

'Happy hour was over an hour ago. Wipe that stupid grin off your face!'

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

'This word processing program is very user friendly. All the letter O's contain a happy face.'

Missing heart

Hand takes a shower,

'I would say that we have unearthed ancient hunting weapons.'

A woman in her underwear slam dunks hearts into a basketball hoop.