Kissing Advice Collector T-Shirts

Hairy Eddie's big time guide to kissin load a chicks.

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

Two minds but with a single thought.

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'Was that your signature kiss?'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'I don't want you to run off, like all my other dates, when I mention the possibility of marriage. Will you please tie your shoe laces together?'

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

'My advice is: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.'

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

"I'm sorry, but I made a big mistake by running off with you. I'm really in love with the fork."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Hints for the Park.

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

"I'm dating a milliner..."

Sunset gets later and later every day, little buddy. So what? So, sunset happens later in the day. That means I an accomplish a lot more before smooching hour. I can run an extra ten miles. I can chop an extra cord of firewood. I can catch an extra school of fish. I can prepare for my date by mining an extra nugget of lip balm from my secret lip balm quarry. I can download 30 extra books I'll never read.

"Do we kiss these people?"