King Of Excuses Gifts

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'I didn't come to work yesterday because Tuesday is the new Monday.'

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'Thanks for inviting me to go fishing, Ted. With hunting season over I was running out of ways to avoid working around the house!'

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

Homework: Bring Your Kitty To School. 'My dog ate my homework.'

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

The dog that does the homework...

"Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm busy organising my widgets."

Reasons to avoid training no.236 - A leaf on the path.

"Let me guess - your gas pedal stuck."

"My dog ate my homework."

"I don't do well on standardized testing. I blame it on standardized tests."

If that's Gloria, tell her I'm sorry about last night, tonight and tomorrow night. I've decided to start bundling my apologies. Ring.

"You create a diversion and I'll sneak out the back door."

'Is it my fault they didn't send me to obedience school?'

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."

"We must stay focused on the problems of today so we can formulate the excuses for tomorrow."