King Of Diy Mischief Gifts

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Newt sale

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'Gee, mom, how DID that happen? Maybe we better Google it!'

The invisible man makes a pancake

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

'All right, who broketh the window!'

Frankie the discount genie

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"As you can see, we allowed you to bring your cell phones; however, this is hell, so even local calls will be charged as roaming."

"Can you come over here for a second and give this a pained look?"

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

Oh, confound it, I was in landscape mode.

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"Great, I just made my last mortgage payment!"

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

'No pennies.'

"Whoopsie! I accidentally speed dialed the stripper cops instead of the real cops."