King Of Chores Pillows

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

Domestic Superheroes!!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

Giraffe holding up the washing line.

"Namaste."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Iron Man! Thank heaven you’ve come!"

Romance over the Irons

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Having a poltergeist is actually quite handy..!

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"You lick, I'll dry."

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

Man with Ironing burns on shirt - "How are things going at home Robert?"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. George changed the toilet roll yesterday!"

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'

"We need a new clothes press."

'I don't mind helping with the dishes, but I'll be damned if you think I'm scrubbing off six years of grime.'

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

'This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be Iron Man!