Domestic Chores Devotee Pillows

Giraffe holding up the washing line.

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Kitchen Tetris

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

Washing Line Walker

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Pest Control

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

Separation Anxiety

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

Child doing the washing up

'Sorting the laundry is hell.'

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Tortoise polishing his shell

"I am not ‘politicizing the issue’ — I simply asked you to pick up your room!"

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”