Unpaid Chores Hero Pillows

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

Do your research!

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

Evil Exams!

"How was work?"

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

'What do you mean...You feel uncomfortable asking for time off?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

Will eat your homework for $.

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."