House Chores (ironically) Pillows

'I'm guessing it's not a surfboard.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Yardless: Please help

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

Kitchen Tetris

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

A DIY disaster.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Washing Line Walker

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"You get back here this minute, young man! You're not going anywhere until you clean your room!"

'But you said to clean my room.'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Pest Control

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'