King Arthur Aficionado Gifts

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"I seriously doubt that's going to count."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Lady of the bath...

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"He's his own worst enemy."

'How about a game of cards?'

'The Burrito King.'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Swiss army knife

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Czarcasm

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'I screwed up royally!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'