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Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Lady of the bath...

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"He's his own worst enemy."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'The Burrito King.'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Swiss army knife

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'I screwed up royally!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'