Arthurian Aficionado T-Shirts

Spoon in the Soup/Sword in the Lake

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

How Arthur really became king.

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"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.

Knights of the Round Whatever

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Whoever can remove this shall rule all of England."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

King Arthur pees in the lake where the lady of the lake holds out the sword

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

Swiss army knife

Knights of the bedside table.

'I'd like a round table!'

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Knights of the Square Table.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

Pizza at the Round Table

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

Lady of the Remote

Illustration for 'A Legend of Camelot', scene 2.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Sir Cowalot.