Arthurian Enthusiast Gifts

"No, Harold, not with your sciatica."

King Arthur and his Knights of the Asymmetric Table

Knights of the Square Table.

look out it might be a fake

Lady of the Lake Holds Swiss Knife

The knights of the round table used to sit here...

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'Look Arthur! Your Holy Grail!'

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Damn King Arthur and damn his round table."

"But Guinevere, what do you mean you wish the knights were longer?"

"He that can remove the sword shall be king, eh? Heh, heh - Guess we're looking at the future King Bertie."

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'Be wary, my Liege, Arthur wants a round table.'

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Swiss army knife

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

'Oh, that's Mordred -- I'm treating him for Arthur-itis.'

"I thought this would be easier than a drawn-out political campaign."

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

"The knights of the round accent table"

Knights of the bedside table.

'I'd like a round table!'

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'I hate it when he has friends around'.

Knights of the Round Whatever

Pizza at the Round Table

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"They're my Knights of the Round Table! - Stop calling them my focus group!"