Arthurian Enthusiast Gifts

"No, Harold, not with your sciatica."

King Arthur and his Knights of the Asymmetric Table

Knights of the Square Table.

look out it might be a fake

Lady of the Lake Holds Swiss Knife

The knights of the round table used to sit here...

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'Look Arthur! Your Holy Grail!'

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Damn King Arthur and damn his round table."

"But Guinevere, what do you mean you wish the knights were longer?"

"He that can remove the sword shall be king, eh? Heh, heh - Guess we're looking at the future King Bertie."

'The small sword? That's for internships.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'Be wary, my Liege, Arthur wants a round table.'

"Whoa, Galahad-you've got a bad case of knight face."

Swiss army knife

Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

'Oh, that's Mordred -- I'm treating him for Arthur-itis.'

"I thought this would be easier than a drawn-out political campaign."

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Lady of the bath...

"The knights of the round accent table"

Knights of the bedside table.

'I'd like a round table!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'I hate it when he has friends around'.

Pizza at the Round Table

Knights of the Round Whatever

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."