Kiln Commander T-Shirts

Pottery

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Culinary surgery.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Still on your left."

Bored Baker

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

"And now from downtown!"

No fly zone

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'As you know, gentlemen, innovation at the point of sale accounts for our competitive edge.'

Referee

"Okay, I get the message."

'In spite of all our communication gadgets, the fridge is still the undisputed information center of our household.'

'Darling, whip me something up in the kitchen.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

"Philippe, dice the potatoes."

"This is so cool! I'm flying this thing completely on my Palm pilot!"

I love Pottery.

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

"My wife prefers the kitchen to herself while she's cooking..."

"They don't have a dish named chicken-a-la-queen, do they?"

Pentagon