Kiln Commander Gifts

Pottery

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Infantry.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Culinary surgery.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"Still on your left."

Bored Baker

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

No fly zone

"And now from downtown!"

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

'As you know, gentlemen, innovation at the point of sale accounts for our competitive edge.'

"Okay, I get the message."

"Philippe, dice the potatoes."

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'Darling, whip me something up in the kitchen.'

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

'In spite of all our communication gadgets, the fridge is still the undisputed information center of our household.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

Referee

"This is so cool! I'm flying this thing completely on my Palm pilot!"

I love Pottery.

'Go get the hose, George! That gopher is back!'

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

"They don't have a dish named chicken-a-la-queen, do they?"