Kinship Coordinator Gifts

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

Turn Down For What.

"Hello sir? I believe your name is Grant. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?"

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Pottery

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

Blood donor centre

The shakedown escalates.

I lost a heart in San Francisco.

'I'd like to know who the genius is in corporate who built our new distribution center right next to the Olympic Archery Training compound.'

"I just ate my organ donor card."

"Yes, I was asleep. But it was a vigilant sleep."

What're you doing for Thanksgiving, little buddy? Having a huge party. It'll be full of turkey, cranberry sauce, wine, eggnog, football, and friends and family who love me dearly. Oh, good. I was afraid you'd be alone all day playing video games. "Turkey Slaughter VI" is no ordinary game. You're coming to my place.

The family matriaack!

'I'm sorry, Dad, but upon looking at my calendar, I'm not going to be able to squeeze in your quality time this week.'

'Great news! We found a donor body!'

'Hello, is that the temp agency? Now listen, I specifically asked for Elves!'

"Hello – we're going door to door today to spread the word of science."

Rubbish falling out of the bag before getting to the bin.

'No problem. I'll get our best unpaid jobseeker onto it.'

"I'd love to get away from it all but I'm bringing a lot of it with me."

'You invited your mother? -- But we agreed to a small wedding!'

'Very admirable, but how am I expected to keep track of your donated lungs, heart, kidneys, liver, cornea's etc?' Donor at the gates of heaven.

"We did it, we found the nonprofit fountain of funding."

"Hold on, hold on. We can't do this. He's an organ donor."

Dear Ms. Heppner, I look forward to my interview for the position of Conservation Coordinator. I think my position on recycling stands on its own merit."

Recycling - body parts.

'Fantastic CV, masses of experience...shame she wanted paying!'

'You want to leave your body to science - how about someone with A-level science?'

City Morgue Parts Dept.