Kinship Coordinator Pillows

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

Turn Down For What.

"Hello sir? I believe your name is Grant. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?"

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Pottery

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

Blood donor centre

The shakedown escalates.

I lost a heart in San Francisco.

"I just ate my organ donor card."

"Yes, I was asleep. But it was a vigilant sleep."

The family matriaack!

'I'm sorry, Dad, but upon looking at my calendar, I'm not going to be able to squeeze in your quality time this week.'

'Great news! We found a donor body!'

"Hello – we're going door to door today to spread the word of science."

Rubbish falling out of the bag before getting to the bin.

"I'd love to get away from it all but I'm bringing a lot of it with me."

'Very admirable, but how am I expected to keep track of your donated lungs, heart, kidneys, liver, cornea's etc?' Donor at the gates of heaven.

'You invited your mother? -- But we agreed to a small wedding!'

'No problem. I'll get our best unpaid jobseeker onto it.'

"We did it, we found the nonprofit fountain of funding."

Dear Ms. Heppner, I look forward to my interview for the position of Conservation Coordinator. I think my position on recycling stands on its own merit."

"Hold on, hold on. We can't do this. He's an organ donor."

Recycling - body parts.

'Fantastic CV, masses of experience...shame she wanted paying!'

'You want to leave your body to science - how about someone with A-level science?'

City Morgue Parts Dept.

"I'm looking for a career that won't be obsolete before my student loan is paid off."