Cycle Commander T-Shirts

"Still on your left."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

You had me at vintage.

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'she's been at that three weeks now and it hasn't moved an inch.'

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

Musical Bicycle.

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'You should all be wearing helmets'

"You're fine, sir. I'm ticketing your back seat passenger for persistent, obnoxious, unsolicited advice."

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

An evolutionary cycle - A bicycle emerges from the water after evolving from two amoeba

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

Happy Office

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

La Tour 2007.

'Grown ups have been doing this all wrong!'

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Bureaucrats on a windmill.

"It cuts air resistance."

Possum Army HQ. Here's the casualty report, sir --- You have to take it with a grain of salt, of course.

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

"Back in my day, 'Call of Duty' wasn't a game."

"Me, I'm out for a run with the dog on the bike."

'Why am I wearing a helmet?...Why aren't you wearing one?!'

Uni-cycle for sale.

Season Finale