Keyboard Wizardry Enthusiast Pillows

Tune Up Shop.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Lynching on social media

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Piano Recital

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'A is for Arse.'

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

A woman playing a keyboard

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

The Work-from-Home-Polka

Bill Bailey

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Letterman Show: 'He's always been at my side...the one consonant in my life...'

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Child lifting alphabet blocks.