Keyboard Typing Gifts

"That's right, now turn around and lie down, then stretch out so you're pressing every key at once."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

Piano Keyboard

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

A woman playing a keyboard

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'How many words per minute do you type?'

Bill Bailey

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

The Escape Key

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Computer Life

'Sorry, Kevin. You have given an incorrect command.'

Sales Secretary

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

New technologies.

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'