Keyboard Jockey Pillows

"This computer has a fast modem, latest pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband net connections. Only one problem, slow pointer fingers."

Your keyboarding skills are excellent, but what really impressed us is your text messaging speed!

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Morning, all!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Evolution.

Time for More Paperwork

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Lumbar support animal

"I feel your pain."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.