Kerchief Collector Gifts

'Hey guys! Are we all tucking our pant legs into our boots today? And our kerchiefs...are we tying them snuggly or letting them hang kind of loose and casual-like?'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'These are job perks.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Out of kilter.

Freaks of nature exhibit.

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

Football supporters.

Real Estate Personals

"I've heard a lot about you - all nutty, of course."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

What's Their Secret?

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

Pianist.

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

'According to your resume, you have unusual organizational techniques.'

Don't you like it, Dad?

"I see you've brought your own bag."

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

Enrico from Lucia di Lammermoor

Why Running Away Together Is Not a Very Good Idea...

Antiques/Collectible/Bric-A-Brac/Garbage.

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

Patron Saint of Clowns...St. Pie-us