Kafka Connoisseur Pillows

Huge bug says: 'On the plus side: I no longer know what Kafkaesque means.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Selling lemon latt�

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'These are job perks.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Farm Humor.

"At this office no two days are different."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

The Trojan Beagle.

Happy Hour

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'