K9 Companion Gifts

"How about you go in after him. You're the one with the gun."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

"No no, I said sit!!"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

Canine Companion

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

A man and his dog

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Hush puppy.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I'm working from home today."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."