Juvenile Justice Gifts

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Now that's a win."

The real murderer of Boris Nemtsov?

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

When Engineers Crack.

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Truth

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

The Jose Padilla Experience

Anti-war libra.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''