Juvenile Humor Fan Gifts

Toilet humour

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Yes, Eric you do need to do a duty. You know as well as I do that every dog has its day."

Fish in school to other fish: 'I did well in marine biology today - it was an open-brook test.'

'Truth is, kids, I ate your homework.'

Spy School

"Listen Smith, I don't care if the older boys are picking on you or not, you have to come into school - you're the deputy head for goodness sake!"

'The ate my allegation of improper conduct against you, Sir.'

To give more clout to his disciplining style, Principal Dave Murdock installed a wind tunnel in his office.

'And then I just hit delete. I haven't actually eaten any homework in years.'

'I'll need a note from the aliens who abducted you to excuse your absence.'

"He's at that awkward age when he tells his teachers valuable information about his parents."

'Very funny, William. Take it off! You're scaring the other students.'

Principal sees a sign on faculty room: Happy Hour 3:00 - 4:30.

"You boys! Stop using parliamentary language in the playground!"

'Ok, who threw that?'

"Who made this mess?"

"One day, my teacher went in there and never came back out."

Yeah, well, when you're old, you'll get whiskers in weird places, too.