Justice System Wizard Gifts

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Smiling businessman with rising profits

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Not guilty?"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'This investment fund idea looks promising, Harlow, but could you think up a catchier name than 'Ponzi Scheme'?'

'The nice thing about America is, no matter how the economy is doing, you can always blame the Chairman of the Federal Reserve.'

"Can you hear me now?"

"She's registered at Salomon Smith Barney."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

"You've gotta be for Trump. It's all about the judges."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."