Justice Department Official T-Shirts

'Of course, one advantage to lethal injection is that Medicaid might pay for it.'

Trial by Media

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

Judge

'I hope you don't mind. To save time and money, we've sworn in the firing squad as the jury.'

Bambridge on Trial for Murder.

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

'Have you not noticed that our legal department is crawling with lawyers!'

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"I suppose you're like me, only signed up for the free uniform."

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Your honor, my client claims he's too poor to hire an attorney, pre-trial publicity counsel, and book agent.'

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

Judicial Restraint

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

"Heads or entrails?"

The hazards of an Alaskan spring - "Court adjurned for 3 months."