Judicial Assistant T-Shirts

Trial by Media

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

Truth

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

A baby in court

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Justice 4 Ron

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

Antonin Scalia

The hour of justice

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."