Judicial Assistant T-Shirts

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Trial by Media

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Truth

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

A baby in court

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

Justice 4 Ron

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

The hour of justice

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

Antonin Scalia

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

The Likeable Torturer

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."