Judicial Staff T-Shirts

Judge hearing two cases at once

Trial by Media

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

In and Out Tray

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

Attorney and killer bee.

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

You're Out Of Order

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'