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"I'm sorry, I guess they just wanted it more."

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

'Yes, I technically did give illegal orders, but I naturally expected that the integrity of my subordinates would prevent their being carried out.'

"The jury's coming back. Lose the mask."

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"We make crime pay."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Yawning barristers in court

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Arrogant junior barrister