Justice Buff Gifts

"Oh, he's quite a prosecutor, all right ? three of the jurors confessed."

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

"Yes, but I'm not just any judge, I'm a TV judge."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'I realize this trial is exciting, but the jury will refrain from doing the wave.'

'I beat all the odds. My lawyer said only one judge in a million would convict me.'

'He's a 'high' court judge.'

"We find the defendant guilty of all the things he's been convicted of in the media."

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Barristers

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Sue the Author 3PM

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"Not guilty?"

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Why is it always about me?'

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"I think it's a subpoena!"

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'