Just Because Gifts

"We don't sell CDs anymore. We sell colorful jackets for the music you download illegally."

Dog with toilet IV

'Mind if I join you?'

"I prefer to think of myself as an opinion former."

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

Other People

Since You Asked

"Do that thing where you walk like chuck berry."

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

Good morning, Frank. Ernie? You're all chiseled and buff and handsome. But I'm always all chiseled and buff and handsome. Look at yourself. This is incredible! It will change everything! Speaking of changes...The art department is fixing their mistake. Oh well, Ernie. It's what's inside that matters. You mean my morning doughnut?

'Nice talking to you, but would you please excuse me? I need to get some air...'

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

Cupcakes!

"OK, now I'm having a bad day."

Social distance queue starts here

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Shepherd and eurydice

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Louis Armstrong

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

Showbiz Awards

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Benedict Cumberbatch