Italy Gifts

Federico Fellini.

Venetian without the knowledge

Trying to rectify the Leaning Tower of Pisa

"Raid Venice once, and where are you?"

Pisa Hut.

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

'I take it that this will be your first visit to Venice?'

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Whoops! We have pot holes here, too."

Rosina at the balcony

City Zoo: Day Care

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Skipping Horse

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

The Computer Bore

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Why do they do that?"