Country Gifts

Hip/ hip-hop replacements.

"Looks like we found the issue."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

2021

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Showbiz Awards

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"His first out-of-body experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'